Randy Cunningham's Unfortunate She-Lemma
by blahblahblah628
Summary: During one of his routine ninja escapades, Randy Cunningham ends up stuck in Megadale. Now he has to get back home to Norrisville and thwart the plans of his archenemy while avoiding getting on the wrong end of a certain pink-clad superhero's laser lipstick.


**Randy Cunningham's Unfortunate She-Lemma**

**Chapter 1: Randy should just Go Now**

Howard sighed.

It wasn't the first time his friend Randy had his face buried in that book, completely unaware of anything going on around him, and as long as they were in high school, he doubted it would be the last. Still, Howard couldn't help his irritation when Randy left him alone during Study Hall to attend to his ninja training.

"Ugh, what is he even doing in there?" Howard grumbled, taking care to ensure that no one noticed the position Randy was in.

* * *

In the world within the NinjaNomicon, Randy Cunningham, better known as The Ninja, was in quite a dilemma. He was training to master a new ninja weapon, the Ninja Cherry Blossom Fan, but there was one thing that was hindering his progress:

He felt that he looked absolutely ridiculous.

There weren't any major differences between his default ninja suit and the altered version as a result of the activation of the ninja fan. The secondary colour of his suit, along with his signature scarf, changed from red to a bright pink and the sash around his waist changed to a big ribbon tied at the back that had the same shade of pink. There were also three, much smaller ribbons: two for each of his shoes and one for the side of his head. All in all, the change in appearance was more feminine than what one would expect from The Ninja.

And for Randy Cunningham, it was just too much.

"Oh come on, Nomicon!" Randy yelled to the supernatural book, "Do you have any idea how stupid I look? No one's gonna take me seriously if I look so girly!"

As if to convince him to utilise his new abilities, or maybe just to shut him up, the Nomicon created some ninjas out of the paper in his surroundings. The paper ninjas went to attack the real ninja but he did little more than dodge, as he was absolutely adamant on not fighting in what he deemed to be too "girly" for The Ninja to be seen in.

His paper adversaries, however, did not have any reservations about fighting to defeat their target and The Ninja soon found himself on the ground, beaten. The paper ninjas disappeared, having already served their purpose.

As The Ninja recovered, he saw illustrations what was assumedly a previous ninja wielding the fan to great effect, and the Nomicon's piece of ninja wisdom appeared before him. "_The Cherry Blossom Fan can be a powerful weapon_," The Ninja read aloud,_ "But only if The Ninja swallows his pride._"

"I can totally swallow my pride! I'm the humblest guy I know!" The Ninja retorted. Tired of his continued defiance, the NinjaNomicon promptly ejected Randy Cunningham's consciousness from its world, knowing he would eventually understand when the time came.

* * *

Randy woke up, pulling his head out of the NinjaNomicon, which anyone would mistake for a simple Math book at first glance. He looked around the room and saw no one except his friend Howard, just as he was walking out through the door.

"Howard! What the juice!" Randy called out, "You know what I told you about leaving me alone when I have to use the Nomicon!"

"Look, Cunningham!" Howard replied, "School's been out for _five minutes_ and there was no way I was going to stay in a school for any longer than I need to, especially not on my birthday!" Taking notice of the incredulous look Randy was giving him, Howard could only assume one thing, "…You forgot today was my fifteenth birthday, didn't you?"

"No, no, of course I didn't!" Randy denied.

"Do you even know how old I'm gonna be?" Howard asked.

"Oh, I don't know, twelve, maybe?" Randy sarcastically responded.

"Hilarious," Howard rolled his eyes, "You better be there and you _better_ have a great gift."

"Oh don't you worry about that, I already have it covered," Randy assured him.

"Right, see you there then," Howard replied, unsure of whether or not Randy was telling the truth.

With that, the two friends exited the building when Randy saw a pair of familiar-looking Chainsaw Werewolves causing some trouble. Knowing what he had to do, he turned to Howard, "Listen, Howard, I have to-"

"Just go!" Howard cut him off.

Making sure no one saw him he ducked behind a nearby mailbox and put on his mask. Randy Cunningham, having become the local hero simply known as The Ninja, took off after the cyborgs of his arch enemy, Hannibal McFist.

The two robotic wolves were so busy causing random destruction that they almost didn't notice The Ninja appearing in front of them in a puff of bad-smelling smoke.

"You know, don't you werewolves have anything better to do than going around destroying stuff?" The Ninja asked. In response, the Chainsaw Werewolves started slowly stalking towards him. "Alright, alright, I didn't _necessarily_ mean to destroy _me_ but…Ninja Kick!" The Ninja swiftly delivered a kick to the werewolf nearest to him, sending him crashing into a nearby trash can. The second wolf pounced, but The Ninja managed to leap out of the way. With both of the cybernetic monstrosities ready to strike and standing at opposite sides of him, The Ninja did the one thing any sensible person would: he jumped in the air and watched as the Chainsaw Werewolves crashed into each other below him. The Ninja landed not too far off from the dog pile and watched as they got up, ready to fight more. However, the robotic canines surprised him when they both ran off instead of trying to attack.

"What the juice? Now I'm not good enough for you?" The Ninja asked incredulously, "Hey! Get back here!" The ninja ran after them, determined to finish what he started.

The Ninja followed the werewolves until he saw them entering a peculiar building.

"You know, that looks an awful lot like a trap…" The Ninja said to no one in particular upon reaching the door, "Eh, I'll roll with it." He entered the building.

* * *

In the McFist Industries main building, Hannibal McFist and his mad scientist, Viceroy was watching what had transpired on The Ninja's end via remote video surveillance.

"Ha! The Ninja is falling right into my trap!" McFist proclaimed with glee, "Viceroy! Prepare the Ninja Eradicator Mark II!"

"I just love your taste in names…" Viceroy sarcastically commented before pulling down the lever that would activate the robot.

* * *

The Ninja looked around the building he was in. There was no sign of the Chainsaw Werewolves he was chasing and, aside from a few crates, it was rather spacious. Suddenly the floor right behind him opened up to reveal a giant robot which appeared to be a human in overalls wearing a pointed cap. As The Ninja turned around, the robot grabbed him and kept him locked in a bear hug.

"Hey! Let me go!" he ordered the robot as he struggled to free himself. The Eradicator held The Ninja in its grasp, ignoring his kicking and screaming as it powered up the rocket boosters installed within its feet and the roof above them began to open.

"Wait, why am I hearing rocket boosters? And why is the roof opening up?" The Ninja asked as he came to a horrible realisation.

The Eradicator launched itself through the roof and was soon hundreds of feet in the air. The city of Norrisville was quickly diminishing in size as The Ninja unwillingly flew higher and higher, farther and farther away from his hometown.


End file.
